release

she thinks to herself as her heart pounds in depression, her eyes tear for hours on end. she tells herself "i need a release, the kind of release that you can do once in a while, i need it because all though my best friend tell me to breath, i feel like i can't. i can wish for my love to sweep me off my feet, but i know it'll never come." she wipes her tear from her left cheek, and goes outside for a cigarette, knowing her love would hell at her. "it doesn't, matter anymore." she says. she's tired of feeling wrong and ugly, she's tired of wishing of the past. she hums dearly beloved, tearing even more with every note.....she finally says the word she never wanted to hear for herself..."im done"

dreamer

theres this dreamer, he loves to wonder on what he could possibly have. he sees it, he sees everything in this one person. though he feels he's not good enough for the world, and he's already taken....he knows what he wants, he feels horrible because he wants what not his, and finally he stopped caring. theres this dreamer, he finally tells the girl he wants he loves her and its long over do, he tells her he's not like every other guy just trying to get in a girls pants. through all of his pain through all of his worries, theres nothing more that he cares about. he wants to see her and he want to be with her, to get not just what she needs but what she wants...her dreams. because believe it or not ...he turned her into a dreamer. he told her to close her eyes telling her of everything he would love to do for her, love to give her. she told him theres only one thing i would like...she took his hand and opened her eyes and kissed him. within one kiss, he thought to himself he finally got what he wanted...her.

sexuality...lets face it

Now i'm married, i'm 19 yrs old, but i look like i'm 13 or 14...if u are one of my friends you might say i look like i'm 12. But in my mind i'm not the prettiest girl in the world, i'm not the type of girl the guys would stare at walking down the street. So naturally i feel a bit uncomfortable when i have an alert going off "my husband is gone, my husband is gone." and men hit on me........ not to but rude, but lately it makes me feel some what powerful. So my husband is deployed, and don't talk to him often, is it wrong of me to out of nowhere want him the way i do? Is it wrong of me to want more of him? I married the love of my life and i love him the way I fell for him, but the fact that i forgot the one burden of being an army wife......you marry the man and you commit with him to the military...........i hate it! But i live with it. With all the drama I've been through i know i wouldn't want to go through anything with anyone but my husband. BUT ANYWAYS!!!!! I haven't had fun in a while. i'm wondering  why do i want more or more extreme, and why now...... couldn't it have waited to kick in until my husband came home, or at least the day before he's here lol. I don't know but i like the feeling. With him i feel like besides the girls......... i'm his world, even though he doesn't show it (its alright...i live lol). i just got to figure out how to hold myself down at least for 3 more months.......and the my bottom line.

oh ok y so silent

So many things have happened since I've been in Washington. Crazy, fun and bad things lol. but although things are overall fun, when the bad things start everyone i mean everyone goes silent. if you have an issue with me please bring it to the table instead of letting me walk up to you and end up pissing you off even more, tell me so that if you want a friendship with me we can work on it or tell me how you feel so we could see if we can be friends or not. And the problem i see a lot of us have is that the word gossip means twisting peoples words around, and we gladly do it sometime on purpose, sometimes without noticing it....then all we can say is "oops" or "wtf you're being an asshole". the problem i have had is that i actually haven't said anything wrong...at least i don't think and the people i speak of haven't given me any proof that i did, and they feel they can bitch on mute....soon or later i will notice, and on top of that sooner or later i will blow up. You bring everything to the table or you drop it..........that's my bottom line